I’m an over-thinker. A figure-outer. And I’ve been really struggling with faith lately. I’ve been constantly trying to figure out things for myself, which has left me with a lot of questions. I’ve used these questions to put God at a distance, safely keeping Him there until He answers everything. Honestly, I still have many unanswered questions, but that’s okay with me because of everything He’s showing me about faith.
The thing about faith is that we’ll never fully figure it out. Our questions will never be completely answered. it will never quite make perfect sense. But that is precisely what faith is- trust in the God of the known for the unknown. The enemy tries to distract us with the thought and urge to have everything figured out. He will put questions or allow questions in our mind about God and faith. For me, its a lot of deep thinking why’s. Sometimes God answers these. Sometimes, He leaves them with me. I believe that is partially the mystery of God. But a bigger part is faith. He wants us to have faith even when we don’t know the answers, He wants us to trust Him, to trust His commands, even if we’re asking “why?” and He is silent. If we could have everything figured out, there would be no need for faith. We would be on a quest for knowledge, wisdom, and understanding, rather than a journey with God to love and know Him more.
I believe He wants to release the human nature, the fleshly desire to have it all figured out before we decide to fully trust Him. I believe He wants to release us into His peaceful presence, to stop the questions and just sit with us in love. I believe that this can be a true rest for some of us – the over-thinkers, the figure-outers, the ones who may have bought into the lie that knowing God equals understanding everything. Maybe knowing God is actually the opposite. Maybe knowing God is coming to Him arms raised, surrendering our questions and trusting His promise that He is peace and rest, trusting that no matter how much we beg Him for answers or ask no questions at all, He reveals things to us in His time. Wisdom is a gift given by God, but the enemy can twist it into a way to keep us from Him. We’re sitting here trying to know God by understanding Him, unintentionally creating a wall with our questions. He’s telling us to put down these thoughts, let the walls fall down, and simply allow ourselves to just be with Him. We think understanding will bring the peace we are searching for, but that peace can only be found in Him. That is the faith that might be hard to cling to because it means admitting that our own way might not be God’s way. We need the courage, trust, and faith to believe that the answer is simple. The answer is Jesus.